I LOVE pro wrestling. We have an on-again, off-again relationship, though - since the late 80s, I've watched wrestling like an OBSESSED FREAK for long periods and then lost touch with it for a few years at a time.

I always come back because pro wrestling is the funniest sport on Earth and it's not even close. Watching enraged human cartoons with long wet hair shout at and beat the shit out of each other brings me a joy flirting with hysteria.

This pact I have with pro wrestling - I'll always come back through that door, even if I take a long break - comes in part from understanding cycles extremely well from years of experience with bipolar disorder I.

Dealing with clinically-extreme mood swings affecting every conceivable area of my life has forced me to learn the hard way about watching for and managing the unfailing ebbs and flows of emotional states.

The tide is high but I'm holdin' on

Productivity with creative pursuits is a lot like those screaming highs and hellacious lows - it can start and stop (almost) as reliably as phases of the moon if you keep the faith.

Creativity certainly has a circular rhythm. When you're in a phase of being constantly energized to bang out good work left and right, it feels a lot like bipolar mania. IT RULES!

I'm killing it! Nothing can stop me!

The dry periods can feel as horrendous as the depression segment of the bipolar routine, though. They're awful! For artists, phases where you're standing still with no new ideas can give you an immense identity crisis.

I don't know who I am if I'm not making something! Fuck this!

Foresight is 20/20

I've been in a long cycle (2 years so far) of kicking out a whole lot of artistic assets. In April, I had a minor creativity crash where my brain benched me for a few games.

But! I haven't been doing absolutely nothing.

I've been fortunate that a clutch of mission-critical friends and I have found daily ways to support each other 1:1 through the transition periods that we're going through in parallel.

Per my last newsletter, those relationship-building sleepover conversations are the most important work I'm ever going to do!

I'm networking my knuckles off, too! A whole lot of good stuff is going to come out of that!

It's not wasted time!

It's fun!

Sometimes you're in a social phase, like I am right now, and then you're solo-hiking in the deep work. (My time intervals are typically very rapid, but your mileage may vary.) There's a genuine need in the creativity ecosystem for both of those states.

My life got better when I realized the tides of all important stuff recede and return. The good things always swing back around - like pro wrestling does!

So a lapse in creative energy doesn't mean you're just wasting time being worthless. Pep-talking myself here too, lol.

If you need to hear this, your mojo will come back. Everything human is temporary - this might just be the low-key part of the program for you right this minute.

Occupational therapy for broken hearts

SO MANY people I'm close with are going through depressive/anxious phases kicked off by either the wrinkles in their physiology or by external factors like bad jobs or the relentless shitshow of our deranged government.

Recuperating and getting steady is VERY IMPORTANT WORK.

I wish I could find the tweet where I saw this so I could credit it, but foundation-building is crucial creative labor if you're teeing up to make - or become - something new.

Take it from a bipolar person who learned from nuking their entire life over and over: your health and relationships HAVE TO come first!

Nightmarish outcomes are waiting for you if you blow this off!

Good work, whatever that looks like for you, will always follow once you find your footing.

Your missions will be right where you left off when you hit your stride.

The moon always wanes and comes back! Winter always ends!

No matter what, the sun will continue to rise!

Mandatory fun

This is an item I saw recently that applies not just to writers like me but also any other creative:

If you feel like your creative keg is kicked, zoom out and take an honest look at where you're at.

Have you been enjoying the warm weather with people you like?

You got a little senioritis? I CERTAINLY DO.

That's fine! It's fine! There's a season to recover (and/or screw around) and a season for deep focus.

Psychologically speaking, you gotta eat something (at least have a coffee) before you command yourself to expend any effort from which you want a positive and productive outcome.

Give yourself some grace if you recognize you're catching your breath and/or having fun at the expense of unending productivity - that'll flip when the rhythm hits the appropriate beat.

I promise you that having no structure eventually gets boring. At some point, you'll feel 100% ready to put your head down and make new things.

When you're traveling, reading an entertaining book, trying a new restaurant or recipe, going on a group birdwatch, having coffee with a bud, attending fun events, or otherwise doing nothing allegedly-productive that day - those engagements with life are exactly where you find the stuff Ben Franklin would say is worth writing about!

Whatever phase you realize you're in, just do your best to ride the wave and to learn to be confident that the good stuff always comes back around.

If you give up on yourself I'm gonna have to send Danhausen after you!

Music I spun while I wrote this

• Trombone Shorty: Lifted (2022)
• Ship Thieves: Irruption (2021)
• The Carolyn: This Will Begin to Make Things Right (2019)
• Iron Chic: Not Like This (2010)
• Fugazi: Repeater + 3 Songs (1990)

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